There are three things I don’t understand about life: dating, the existence of aliens, and how to make vegan food taste good.
These are all very important topics, but I am going to touch upon the subject of vegan food because this is a food blog and you did not come here to read about my theory on aliens or dating…. or dating aliens.
I think we all know my taste in food is rather indulgent. I love meat, cheese, eggs (#yolkporn all over me), ice cream, etc. etc. I could go for days. That being said, I have nothing against vegan food or alternative eating — I actually find it quite fascinating and love to understand how people can make certain vegan foods taste non-vegan. So, when I read raving reviews about the new vegan restaurant, by CHLOE I was curious and decided to try basically everything on the menu to see if the acclaim was true.
I hate to be redundant, but dude. This food was good. It was so good that I ate my leftover veggie burger later that night when I was drunk. Drunk food is not to be taken lightly. At least not in my house.
While I unfortunately did not try every single item on the menu, I did get a good taste of what Chloe has to offer.
Black bean-quinoa sweet potty patty, corn salsa, onion, guacamole, tortilla strips, chipotle aioli, whole grain bun
Love this. The CHIPOTLE AIOLI will make you feel things.
Of course I doubled fisted the burger with baked french fries.
Sweet Potato Mac ‘n Cheese
Sweet potato cheese sauce and shitake bacon
EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO GOOD. THE SWEET POTATO CHEESE TASTES LIKE CHEESE AND THE SHITAKE “BACON” IS SO TASTY. Like, if I have to opt for a non-meat bacon one day I will definitely go for a shitake bacon. I think it’s genius. No fake meat substitutes.
Pesto “Meatball” Sub
Italian “meatballs,” marinara, sweet peppers, basil pesto, cashew mozzarella, almond parm, potato sub roll
This one was the most surprising. I don’t understand these meatballs. Obviously they don’t contain meat and they don’t have a meaty taste, but…woah….the consistency was so good and they were smooth, gooey and delicious. I don’t really understand what these really were or how this happened.
Quinoa Taco Salad
Spicy chorizo, black beans, sweet corn, avocado, tomato, tortilla strips, crema, agave-lime vinaigrette
Out of all the meat substitutes, the spicy chorizo was my least favorite but this salad is very refreshing and I want to bathe in the agave-lime vinaigrette while eating the baked tortilla strips.
As if that’s not enough food, I also tried their cold-pressed juices and some desserts. Lots of desserts. One thing about vegan food I REALLY don’t get is how vegan desserts are so damn good. I’ve had vegan cupcakes before and when they’re done right, they are so moist and delicious. All of these baked goods were awesome.
Chocolate Chip Walnut Cookie
The “Chloestess” Cupcake
Stuffed with raspberry filling.
Matcha Blueberry Muffin
And then there was vegan ice cream.
Cappuccino Crunch and Kale Cookie’s N’ Cream
Never thought I would like kale in my ice cream but I did so…..
And that is the story of when Skyler ate Chloe.